WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED?
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*WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED❓*
For many single women, this question sounds small but it carries weight. It follows them to weddings, family gatherings, church programs, birthday celebrations. etc
It usually comes as a joke, concern or pressure dressed as love and after hearing it over and over again it stops sounding harmless, It becomes heavy. 💔
*ANONYMOUS:* Chidinma was 32, She had a job, paid her bills and was trying to build a stable life but none of that mattered whenever she went home.
Her mother would say,
“Your younger cousin is already married, don’t wait too long, I want to carry my grandchildren.”
Every family event came with side comments: “You’re too picky, at your age, just settle already!, Men don’t like women who wait too long.”🤦🏿♀️
She watched friends get married, some looked happy, some looked trapped, some were suffering and smiling.
At night, Chidinma would lie awake wondering:
Should she just marry because everyone is already tired of waiting? 🥹
*Reflection*
Many women are silently carrying this pressure. The pressure from mothers who fear societal judgments, worry about status, grandchildren or what people will say. Some believe marriage equals security.
Fathers may not say much, but their expectations sit quietly in the room forgetting that:
_A woman can build a career
_Buy her own car/ house
_Create a beautiful life but she cannot force a man to appear or marry herself.😔
_The rate at which friends will be getting married, timelines changing, social media making it feel like everyone has life figured out.
And then reality enters:
_You’re trying to survive, make money, build something stable, heal from heartbreak or become whole before sharing life with someone else. 🫂
But society rarely waits for your process. It only asks,
“When are you getting married?” Not bothered that;
1: Finding a good man is not easy
2: The dating pool is nothing to write home about, trusting is harder, intentions are unclear.
3: some men don't value women / commitment anymore but wants loyalty without efforts and,
4: Submission without offering anything in return.
And many women understands the weight of choosing wrong with lots of broken marriages out there.😩
*LESSONS*
-Marriage is not a race
-Pressure should never decide your life partner
-Loneliness is painful, but wrong marriage is deadly.
-You deserve love that feels safe, not rushed.
-Building yourself first is not failure.
Dear Queen, You can pray, grow, become the best version of yourself but love cannot be forced. And when something is beyond your power, the best thing to do is leave it in God's hands. 🙏🏽
Marriage is important but peace inside matters even more, let people talk because the consequences of bad decisions is only yours to bear.
Take your time, choose wisely. You're still worthy and valuable with or without a ring. 💍 ❤️
